A borough-based peer support group for men's health based in Draycott has taken on a new facilitator to continue work carried out locally.
Alan Dawson is now co-ordinating processes for MENtal Wealth and has been tasked with growing the group and attracting new members. He has written an article which is concerned with men's mental health, the mental health crisis affecting men and how support groups, such as MENtal Wealth can support wellbeing.
He wrote the article (replicated below) from research undertaken for a short but emotive radio play he is hoping to place one day, called 'Midlife - 'Guilty as charged'', concerned with men's mental health, but usually writes for stage, having recently worked on a project with Mansfield Palace Theatre and Nottingham University, concerned with language with heritage.
Alan became interested in men's mental health when he became ill with anxiety and wrote his experiences for an article featured in the Mansfield Chad. He says that he believes in reaching out, and, having found from his own experiences, that no-one is going to get better on their own.
Men’s Health - Negotiating a Mid-Life with Peer Support
Written by Alan Dawson.
Alan Dawson is the facilitator of MENtal Wealth, a Draycott based men’s support group – the group operates from the therapeutic surroundings of Elephant Rooms, South Street, Draycott.
Over the years the Mid-Life Crisis has been trivialised by visions of a balding man driving a red open-topped sports car, or a snake-hipped middle-aged uncle dancing suggestibly with younger women at a family wedding. However, there is much more to a mid-life than these comic portrayals suggest - although impulse behaviour, such as this, can be a result of discontented realisation of reaching middle-age. A mid-life crisis is a problematic transition of identity, which can severely affect the wellbeing, confidence, self-esteem and mental health of a man or woman, and usually occurs between the ages of 40-60.
'The midlife crisis is a complex affair and manifests itself on the surface of consciousness in many forms: divorce; career failure; loss of purpose etc…' Carl Yung
What are the signs of a Midlife Crisis?
Although signs can vary, they include feeling depressed/ anxious, low motivation/ procrastination, insomnia, feeling overwhelmed, lack of purpose, dissatisfaction and finding it difficult with questions of own identity. These signs are heavy weight problems and will weigh heavily on the wellbeing and mental health of an individual if they are not contended with.
What can be the triggers of a Midlife Crisis?
It has been suggested by experts that the midlife crisis can be evolutionary. However, the effects of a change or a loss of a job/ career, concerns about one’s health and/or performance, the void after children have left home, anxiety/ worry about family – including the mortality of aged parents etc, can feed negatively into what can be experienced internally by the individual as a whirlpool of complexity which they can’t successfully navigate.
How do you begin to deal with the effects of a midlife crisis?
Good communication is the first tool to put into your toolbox. As well as making an appointment to talk your GP, talk to your loved ones, family, colleagues, and trusted friends, tell them how you are feeling. Unfortunately, many individuals find talking to people they know/ love, in this instance, difficult and decide to go it alone. Don’t keep the angst bottled up waiting for it to disappear all by itself – because it probably won’t. My advice is to reach out and you will find support.
Talking to your GP as soon as possible is essential, they will endeavour to treat you, but may also signpost you in the direction of mental health professionals, such as therapists, psychologists etc, along with peer support groups, who can also help support you through your crisis.
Peer Support – Men’s Groups
Men who are in the midlife crisis zone presently, are not typically a generation who are commonly conditioned to talk comfortably about their mental health and well-being. Further to this, traditional male populated areas that these men would inhabit, such as heavy industry, the tap room of the local pub or snooker hall, etc are in decline – heavy industry has been replaced by the service industry, and the cost of living crisis has seen men staying at home with a few cans rather than meet up with their friends in the local pub or snooker hall.
So where can men go to talk to other men on a regular basis?
Recently Men’s Groups have been springing up; safe places in the community and online, where men experiencing difficulties with mental health/ wellbeing or who would like to gain peer support can attend.
I facilitate men’s group, MENtal Wealth group at Elephant Rooms, Draycott, which runs every 2nd and 4th Wednesday of the month from 7:00pm-8:30pm. This is a place you will be welcomed warmly, and you will find the opportunity to connect with men of all ages.
I go along to help maintain my wellbeing after experiencing debilitating anxiety in the past. For me talking and listening during group sessions has helped me put my life into context and supported my resilience. Some evenings we share amusing anecdotes and enjoy listening to each other’s experiences with life in general; other evenings we may listen and support someone who is struggling with their wellbeing/ mental health. No session is the same, but I always leave having learned something new about my peers and myself - new friendships/ positive relationships are cultivated here.
'We want to create space for men to discuss their emotions… and to share their stories so that they can connect to others and feel supported.' Elephant Rooms
There is no weekly commitment, the group is run on a drop-in basis. It is okay to come along to see what we are all about if you wish. You will soon discover that there are no expectations placed on individuals – but what you will find is a group of men with a diversity of backgrounds, ready to support without judgement or ego.
Being part of a men’s group is not a big deal – and yet it is. For me it’s about knowing that people who you might not know very well, have got your back – they notice if you’re not right. It’s not about being macho, tough, strong, or loud, it’s about being human in the company of other blokes who know what it is to be out of balance at times. The group takes you out of things for a couple of hours and that can only be good. Huw Morgan (regular attendee of MENtal Wealth)
If you would like to come along to MENtal Health or would like to find out more, contact Alan Dawson via e-mail: thetownsman @ hotmail.com